Thankx~~~

Thanks to you Loong, for being understanding. Is glad we all having holiday now. Of cause chinese new year is coming soon. Hwo haven't buy their new cloth please buy it quickly, if no, those nice cloths are belong to other people already. So, are you all grab your nice cloth and shoes?? Me? Are you kidding? i have everything set, of cause. Except 2 shoes. i know im a bit like what they say as "flower money" but what can i do? i'm jealous of those people who have a lot of nice shoe and i also wanna have a lot of nice shoes. Don't you?

Oh yeah! i'm so dead bored in my house. The history repeat again like last time i just finish SPM. Stay at house morning wake up. done what should i done everyday. then online all day, eat and eat and eat. watch tv after close pc since i have limit of online( before 12). The last thing is sleep.
this is my life. quite interesting right? But i was cheer that my dear call me and having talk. He is really sweet. No, is sweets, because is more that just sweet. i can't denied it, seriously. Last word to say. I'm bored and when Mei Teng coming my house??? T_T hehehez...

LuV,
ZeT

Im Hurt More than Angry..

I'm happy with you all the time , really. But thing have started to change when u started to act like this. I was not angry, but those sadness make the temper of mine goes lose and that was the time everything in our relationship goes wrong. I wrote down this because i can't manage to tell you face-to-face. Every time i talk about this i sure will cry, and harder and harder time to time. I also don't know why. I don't wan bring any sensitive issue. The other thing that i don't wan to talk to you face-to-face is because i scare i can't control myself. I just hope you can see this and know what i feel and not what i want.

*You started to being different after our relationship goes for one month. Our communication less get match all the time. Sometime i do bring some conversation but it will end up with "Oh! My XXX also better in XXX..." i just want us have something to say I'm not showing off that anything this and that. And when this happen i feel really bad and i already have no mood to having talk or whatever else. So, i was being moody not angry.

*I do control myself all the time. I know this issue i say before, and is about promises. Is about smoking. Of cause i do hope you have a healthy life and everyday hope you smoke lesser and lesser. Not i anti smoke, just like if you really do love someone can u think about other things more than just yourself? I know i don't have the power to control i just you will get better life.

*Sometime i think i sensitive, and just maybe. I just don't know that u like to date me more or date your friends more? sorry i say this rude word. I feel every time we all go out not you not really have fun. Or maybe friends is better?

*When come to concern, i know you sure no idea what will it be. Get the most latest example, that night you angry me. My hand was really hurt until i eat roti canai also need use left hand. Sis also say, "want me help you?" but i don't want to because is too embarrassing and my boyfriend having a fun conversation with friends. Then we go Cyber, i was really whole day after exam never sleep. I really want to accompany you. But i was too tired, i have a small nap in Cyber Cafe. I sad, because u thought i boring not sleepy. I was really nothing to say. and i was really freak out that you take shot while we heading back to hostel. Because the day before i having some nightmare. I also assume that you really forget that last time i really scare if this kind of things happen to me. i really scare even i go to ghost house. I was thinking why, at beginning you can remember what i say. But when time past by, I'm i really not important? Or I'm i just a girl not more than a girlfriend to you?

*When sometime i really hope that you can automatic call me or sms me. But there is only 2 time you ever call me and that only less than 5% you will auto sms me. I don't know izzit you too confident about our relationship or what else. Now i just feel less and less confident.

I really do hope we can be as last time. I really hope we can be like that, like the 1st time ever we together and having sweet time. I do take this relationship serious. This few day maybe you do talk about my weird behavior to someone. But i don't care. I just do care what you think and what step you will take after read this post. Last thing i ever wan to say, I really do love you. Please don't play, if you are playing please stop. I know i weak, i do cry every single day after you mad at me. i do having bad dream and even can't sleep well after all. The most funny thing is even i laugh i also will cry. When the day has come, it wont be again.

No Mood For Exam~

Today is a very special day for me. I having exam at 9am in the morning, and is very important, THE PROGRAMMING!!! Now i hanging around in the cyber cafe and think im kindda not loving ownselve. Now i accompany and also doing nothing in the cyber cafe. hahax. One funny thing is hearing those vulgar word, but they're feeling happy and enjoying the game. they laughing and say it at the same time. that kindda funny, for me, i think.

I have a deep thought. Im not loving my ownselves, and im kidda guilty to everyone. But i cant change anything now. Maybe this is real me. I din study hard but my parent trusted in me for giving the best education. All i think is how i enjoy my life after exam. Is kindda stupid, and i admit it. No doubt, i am really gross. Now my stupid guy sis scream so loud. Until my ear also pain. hehex.. =.=" He using Lucifer and he put his name as "ASSHOLE", im not joking. By the way, Vince using Slayer as his beauty hero.

So, until now i still no get to the mood to study, and i recently get angry easily and sometime sad , ofcourse. So special problem, yea, is "special"!! Im stupid and very aggressive to everything. But can't help!! So i think now is the too much on programming study. I really like programming, but im stupid. No brain to think wat is good and bad.

SoRRy~~~

actually i just feel sorry for myself. and also my bloggie. Ya~~~ i think my blog also crying for me to give him back his life and battle up again. and now i wanna cross my heart to this keyboard that im using now, if i got time i sure blogging like hell and make my bloggie happy always like i always entertain my love. i started to sing westlife song.... oh~~ my love... hahax...

ctually now is exam season. but unfortunately me as a stupid still dun have the mode to study for my life. pahthetic for myself and my beloved bloggie. sometime i really forgotten that im not a cipher because of the appearence... so i remain not so good in mood some time; all of sudden, and make my frenz scare off. being a human is not easy, but at lease i doing go to myself is more than enough. at lease i try my best. that is wat i alway say to myself, in mind ofcause. if not people will say me an insane. hehez...

actually i do delite myself when i blogging. i feel good..... that more than i would.... hahax... i will be back soon my bloggie... i miss you~~~~

P.S: i miss my dear too... >.<