The Past : Ep2

The past is always the history. Just like what reporter do their works in the newspaper.

A new journey on this silence Saturday morning. achievement is the cure of the pain. Life is about the process, process is the valuable mankind development. I sleep earlier than last time, less thinking, but the noise interrupting me. I started to wonder, what i will be when i out of my life and get instant changes? Can i make it and moving on? I like surprise, but not disaster.

Sunday smile, but i never get to smile back. How silly I am to get extra worry about the think that i shouldn't be. Thanks for the uninvited helping hands. Surprises never end, like a hearty white almond. Washed up, get dress, and ready for the ride.

Someday, i just hate talking. I felt far away from friends, from all of my friends. I just can't speak it right. I notice my weakness but i just can't share it verbally. I hardly express myself. I feel down when i talk to them. Because they are just too high to reach.

Most of the day, skipped class always be my favorite. But going class will be a lot of unexpected stuff happening. I like friends, just not mine random community. Happiness is what we chase, unwanted event is just the consequences that randomly happen. Let chase our dream, catch our dream, share our dream and live as the life goes on.

Pledge life,
Claire

The Past : Ep1

The past of mine... is quite empty and not wonderful, somehow.

April 2009:

• im confused. can't decide to work or back to study. The criticise and those annoying eye sight make me feel so irritating. I am glad to have friend like Terrence, he give me some guidance. I am glad that i can stand beside with my mother, support me so much. I feel guilty that from last time i did not think about others and make my own selfish decision. I know that i somehow did hurt her. I know that i'm not her favorite child or her prouds', but i'm proud that i have her. No matter how hard she try, she just want us to find a way to become a useful person. I promise that i will. You give me life, and i will life up wonderfully.

• being alone in the house is empty. I can't get any socialize program or activities. I'm getting invisible and forgettable. The things that i do in the house is just like a schedule. Wake up, open computer, eat, and sleep. Everyday repeat the same things. My best best freind ever is my Laptop even HE is not expensive and look extraordinary. But at least HE is my good companion. Maple-ing whole day doesn't make me sick, but it make me feel more enrichment and i get all my friends there even i never see them. I can just have FUN with friends and there are really good friends. Getting real friends, i do mean REAL existing friends, is ain't no fun anymore. Owns benefits, what in their heads is what will they get and how much they own. Is all about this, live with no value. What they want is just victory and not the enjoyment in the life being.

Life is not that meaningless. Is just what you think about it. when it is not ok, the true friends will make you feel better. If you are a true friend, just don't runaway.

Regards,

Claire

Popiah Day~

super veggie popiah!!!!

is so warm and nice~
it will be my 1st bite!!!!

minced meat and veggie popiah!

woohoo~ eat while is still HOT!!!

damn nice VEGGIE POPIAH!!!

carrot and veggie~ this popiah is melting my heart!

get ready to be eaten by CLAIRE!!!! wahaha

self made POPIAH!!!

wahahaha.... eating those incredible nice popiah!!! i feel so happy today~ can eat popiah!!! my house still have a lot... hahhaa... come my house if you want... wakakkaa

Can't EAT ENOUGH!,
Claire

Making Signature for X-COZ FORUM!

i make this signature for the forum.... x-coz... will i make this i think got quite long ler... i think i statified with this... haha... then i try to put it... but WTH!!! because my level not enough high... then i cant put picture... sob~ is very sad.... i hope can use in the future!!!

The Day We Sing K~

Last Friday... 10 of April~ yeap... is in the night time....
We sing until so syok!!!

-The Kim Choo unlimited taking photo~ she is making love with the camera... hahahaha....
-Mei teng ler.... didn't song that much~ but i think she enjoy....
-Shuk Ling ler.... make a lot of funny move.... until we cant sing properly.... lolx...

we going back that time is 3am.... my fren tot im going clubbing tim when i say 3am.... is really funny... there is some sensor part when we at there... hahahhaa.... wanna know? ok... i let you all know... We stand on the sofa and jump and sing... the waiter outside saw us... hahaha...

really donno why no ppl post we go chiong k... but really thx to SL that belanja us... XD

Regards,
Claire

Boring~

i am totally freak out with the boring life i having now... it was so not cool and i was going to be freak out of myself. of cause i did not freak out... i go to movie download site download 2 movie which is mean girl and bride war.... is pretty funny thought. then i watch 3 movie today, feng yun animation... wow is cool and the other 2 is the movie i downloaded. doing some smudge work, finally i remember what mei teng said to me yesterday. Then i do some art work with photoshop. I name it vivid butterfly, don't ask me why i name it, i don'teven have the idea why i name it like this.

well, then i put the vivid butterfly art work in into blog name x-coz where all my mix's event friends is there. But i hope they did not see it... because i feel that is quite lame... they usually won't find out... kekeke...

actually im quite proud of myself cause i still have the thinking to help other do assignment while now im not studying. it is fun to help people. it was yesterday, that this thing happen. my cousin ask help from me, and he is study business. ofcause i agree to help him althought im not a business student. then luckily is all "briefly discuss" question. I am good at that, maybe. i study awhile what the question, then i use bout 3 hours to finish it. I think im good, but i hope the answer is correct.

after finish cousin's assignment, my sister, nicole ask for my help. HELL YEA!!! im helping her. Just some typing work. i do it fast and clean. Now i am thinking that would someone employ me as a typist... im good... haha...

well finally... i blogging here... with smell yea smile when i post it... you bet i'll do it... cos i really will do it... IM NOT MEAN~

RE-gard,
Claire

Eternal Flame

Close your eyes,
give me your hand,
darling.
Do you feel my heart beating,
do you understand.
Do you feel the same,
am I only dreaming.
Is this burning an eternal flame.
I believe it's meant to be,
darling.
I watch you when you are sleeping ,
Do you belong to me.
you feel the same,
am I only dreaming.
Or is this burning an eternal flame.
Say my name,
sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely,
and then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to lose this feeling.
Say my name,
sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely,
and then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to lose this feeling.
Close your eyes,
give me your hand.
Do you feel my heart beating,
do you understand.
Do you feel the same,
am I only dreaming.
Is this burning an eternal flame.
do you understand.
am I only dreaming.
Is this burning an eternal flame.
do you understand.
Do you feel the same,
am I only dreaming.
Is this burning an eternal flame.


Now i have some feeling like this song... I guess it was wrong. I don't know why i guess i was wrong, maybe is the others word that i convicted, not my own feeling~

Confuse,
Claire

Previous Incident: My elder sister wedding party~

March 20
Today is really farking busy!!! i cant done the video i make, the t-shirt deesign is constantly changing. All the jerking thinks keep coming to me. I wonder that i really in that bad situation. i really hope to get rid of those bad things soon. Phew, i save up all the anger that will make my blemish more. keep smiling all the way up. Then try to make myself in good situation as everyone cant see tthe bad site. I never eat whole day. Just a minor sushi!


Time past by, it was very fast. is about 3pm that time, me and Carina go JJ to search for medicure and pedicure specialist. Round here and there, making the final decision, and here we got the medicure and pedicure for my pretty sister. Wow, the specialist is really cool, she draw it nice. Is bad that i dont manage to get the photo again. The funny things is, when we are going back that time, we really scare the medicure will spoil because my sister driving. Too bad that i donno how to drive. *evil laugh*

We get home, the nail bangs a lot of stuff, but it never spoil. 6 in the evening, hui Shin call up. Gosh, she is here the way too early! But i manage to get her in time, i think. talk to her awhile, introduce, then eat. is quite boring for me actually, too many people. very noisy, and i manage to hang together with Khalen's friends. they're funny and cool, we laugh together.

Finally, Candy, Shuk Ling and Kim Choo came. introduce, and eat.... When we get upstair, which is go inside my room, my youngest sister manage to give me a glare! What the hell!!! She say somemore, don't get the room dirty. I am fucking irritating with her dumb ass attitude. I am just use a cold tone told her that my friend is not kid like YOU!!! make her shut up, im glade. time passed real fast, we eat and eat and eat and talk. Funny conversation, is a memory. I really glad they came. I really happy to see them. In the late night, ok is midnight, is time to say bye bye. phew~ good day, good night..................

Regards,
Claire

Previous Incident: My elder sister wedding registration!

Febuary 28th
I still online. I remembered. Waiting for John to arrived. Is 10 in the morning. Today is my elder sister, Carina registration. Few hour later, John arrived and we meet and chatting. The times has come, it was time to fetch my elder sister from the beauty studio. I went change cloth, when i reach the door, my mom ask where i going? HELL! of cause im going to Carina registration. Why i can't go? Is a celebration, is should be more people go, and make all fun around. She looked awesome, she is pretty. We take off to the destination, Hokkien 会馆。We wait. There is pretty much people register that day. I hate how my mom looked at me. I can't really figure what is she thinking. The time they register each other, is cool, real cool. We have photo up everything. But i don't have it here. So sorry that i can't share with all~


Regards,
Claire

EDITED AGAIN!!

2nd design of tee for MiX TRAC 09

comment:

not nice...

3rd design of tee for MiX TARC 09

comment:

better than 2nd one. Is simple and nice.. ^^

The design of name tag for all the committee and CREW!!!

The Poster for MiX TARC 09 

*Next week will be seen at Canteen 2  ^^*

The official MiX TARC 09 logo

SMART brain =x

hope you all enjoy~ and i did enjoy! :)

Regards,

Claire

i cry when he write~

"Grandma rest in peace.. i remember your voice your look and what you telling me"

This is what my cousin wrote on the MSN message. Tonight 2.31am, online on the wednesday midnight, i take my my laptop to "sister" room. The Bleach animation suddenly make me felt bored and i closed it without any thought and left a single trace. My cousin, John see me online on the midnight and pm me so we chat on. Suddenly i saw the message above, i feel really awful and really sad. I make a bad request to ask John to delete it to cover my sadness. John, who thought that i'm just kidding with him reject the request. By that time, my tear already can't wait to flow out of my eye. It just can't stop pouring out like the water fall. Everything was like flash back at the moment. It really does feel awful and is a feeling that can't denied in our life. 

He finally realise that i'm not kidding and he try to joke around. He really bad at joke. I laughed, bitterly. I really miss granny, i really miss her voice, her smile, her look, her every single sweat that work so hard for us.

picture of granny & granpa on the CNY

Tear-out,

Claire

Wei Li House BBQ~

What a boring day, is not because Wei Li house party is boring, BUT no people fetch me go MAKE ME FEEL LIFE is soooooooooooo BORING!!!! I'm going to have hundred ton of sadness throw inside my blog today!!


1st msg i recieve from Candy, *tot tot*
"Chai Thing i think i can't go to there due to personal reason. sorry"
-no reply

2nd msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"Where are you"
-reply:at home


3rd msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"Suk Siang maybe going... you ask her see can fetch you or not"
-reply:you help me ask can bo.. >.< 

4th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot* 

" u ask her la, i don *********************** " 

-reply:lolx.. then how you go? 

5th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot* 

"i drive. tat is why i ask u where are you ma? If u at Meru ii can go fetch you." 

-reply:har.. you come jj shopping then we walk then go together.. ok bo? 

6th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot* 

"can't lar. cos my bro not yet back. he drive to college." 

-reply:weili din invite her how come she will go? 

7th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot* 

"Weili din invite who" 

-reply:**** 

8th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot* 

"ya mer? i heard that got ah. who tell u wan? i ask weili again" 

-reply:when your bro back? >.<>

9th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"im not sure what time but i have told him i want to go out tonight"
-reply:haix.. cham lor.. u ask weili d? you got online?

10th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"I massage her d. but she din reply"
-reply:haix.. you late also nvm.. i wait u..>.<>

11th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"choo ask u ask mei teng cos she is going"
-reply:mei teng say no go ler

12th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"*error* send to wrong person"
-reply:lolx send wrong msg!

13th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"can u go suk siang house? cos she don have also, she ask her dad fetch her come my house."
-reply:no ppl fetch me.. choo le?

14th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"choo at pj. later her bf fetch her go weili house. around 10 something only will reach klang. ur sis n bro le? they cant fetch mer?"
-reply:go out ler.. adn if i get my mom = no go

15th msg recieve from Hui Shin, *tot tot*
"then u have to wait mei teng d lo... cos she got things to do... if she finish early she will go.you msg her and let her know that u sit her car if she going. k?"
-no reply =.=

16th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"Hey, how are you going to weili house? are you there yet?"
-reply:no people fetch me

17th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"OMG, i donno man, what about suk siang?"
-reply:her father fetch her go hui shin there

18th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"Then you can ikut her? or she went already?"
-reply:i donno no people fetch me out.. sienz

19th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"haiz, sorry pal, i thought mt is going to fetch you but she told she got something to settle, 10pm baru go.actually i wanna go with you all but now i have to find another way."
-reply:you also havent go?

20th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"going... have to ask my dad to come to fetch me lo..."
-reply:you at where?

21th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"meru"
-reply: that Si hui shin got car also dun wan come here fetch me.. sob T-T(heart break)

22th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"haiz.. too bad. i guess u can only for mt to come fetch you at 10 lor"
-reply:sienz d lar.. haix

23th msg recieve from Shuk Ling, *tot tot*
"terpaksa lor"
-no reply.. again

so now is 945 and the gathering start at 8... im still waiting my goddess to come and save me!! will she come and fetch me or i will be left to dead here to night? Pray up for me~

Desperate soon,
Claire

Thing That My FrenZ will SURPRISE!

I do something crazy today. I spend 200 for this. No turning back!!! 

i think everyone will be surprise~ cos i never look like this before.... but one think for sure i look like kiddy again. Thanks to Candy for accompany me go fix this hair. I feel sorry for make her feel so boring cos i have really a lot of hair and do this hair at lease 4 hour!!!

First, i really don't know what to say and i a bit dumb. i say straighthen my hair and then the counter say go and seat. I was like HELL why she never say how much? Fortunately i am a bit smart and ask how much. The lady boss touch my hair and say "Your hair is long, i do everything for 200! wash + cut + treatment + rebonding. I admit that my hair is quite long, so i also no energy to cut price, and i just agree. 

I sit, of cause, then wash ... blow... cut... cream ... warm hair... wash... straight .... cream ... wash... treatment... blow... cut... DONE!!! AT LAST!!

Take me ages, my butt is like flat when i wait and wait. I wonder hows Candy butt ! XD Candy say my hair look really like kiddo. I like it some how~ Not the word kiddo! =.=

The 1st and the last people say my hair not nice(today) is my mom. i wonder why she never support me, in most of the things i done in my life. =.=

The second thing piss me off is when my sister,Nicole(which is not human). She everything wan to tease someone, she sure say (in Hokkien) "a human outside say she don't want to rebond her hair". I was like telling her " yeah, your not human so just stay inside". She really the most piss off person i ever met in my family!!! Sometime when me and bro upstair, calling us for something she also will say" human upstair, come down!" ! OMG, she downstair is not human, and i wondering how come she is taking to us?!? 

Done all of the unhappy stuff~

Gather with all the happy stuff!!! 

I got a call from Joe, which i never see him for ages. I am surprise and heartbreak~ He ask me weather i'm from design division(the heartbreak part) we knew each other for year and i answer i'm from computer division. I done a lot of design in event. He is really lucky that he find me.. =x

I forget the event he offer, but i waiting for his fren call.

Kiddo,

Claire

MiX 09 Design~

Recently i catch up with a event call MiX Launch 09. I'm surprise that I'm chosen again to be a part of the commitee member of this event. As usual, I'm a part of the design again. Actually i hope that i can get to work in other division to get to learn more. But is ok for me too, i can improve in my design also. Well, I'm run out of my brain juice, to get more different idea. I think im so DUMB that can't get a better idea except this one. So the other comment is ask me to change the color. So i make up two version of this bloody design. Of cause that I'm blaming myself for being not useful at this hour.

So the below 2 is the tee design for the MiX Event. I hope it isn't that horrible... 

Brain Storming,

Claire

The Holiday

After having so much so much bad things, i decided to go for holiday at Kelantan. The place that someone take good care of me a lot. I meet a new girl just 7 month. She is really cute, and most of the people say she look like boy. No doubt, she still a girl. I have few( a lot ) of her picture.

We go out breakfast and lunch can be say everyday. So when Xuan Xuan not feel sleepy, then we bring them along. When i hug her out and walk everywhere, Xuan Xuan's mother say that im like her Mom!!! Everyone say im a young mother from now on. Until now Xuan's mother send me message and say my daughter need you to hug her for walk. Is really funny. At the holiday time i make her a cd, a cd of her photo album. Plus a funny photo with long hair. Everyone laugh at it. Xuan is a very smart and cute girl. I miss her a lot, and my aunt, and my aunt mother, and my uncle. They all very nice to me and i miss them a lot.

Missing,

Claire 

The year Of Sorrow of MINE!

Today is the day of the first day of chinese new year. Probably everyone is happy and making joke all around. We having photography section at my  grandpa house. All of the family member except 1st aunt and last aunt and 4th uncle. About the time morning at ten, we going to other relative house and visit them. No long later, my granpa call up to my relative house and say granny is unconscious. Later on of cause we rush back!! by the time we get back to granpa house granny already send to DUMB ASS HOSPITAL "SRI KOTA''' !!   We reach there, and the stupid Doc say this and that and slowly make transfer to other hospital!!! They try to make money count by hour to stay in their hospital, and don't care people life! CURSE THEM!!! My granny wait for 5 hour and get transfer to KL general Hospital. So, of cause the Doc at there say is too late can't can't be helped anymore. We pray and pray and pray, hope my granny can survived. All the way long, we talk to granny ask her to wait and don't leave us. I can feel here legs and hands moving from time to times. I also saw her tears is out of her eyes. I feel really awful, why my granny will suffer like this. She always a good person, kind and caring. She give food to those street dog, she loves all her grangchild, is all. At the time of 8:30pm, my granny wait for my granpa come to visit him for last meet, cause my granpa go back home and pray for god. She wait granpa and see her for the last time, later on she passed away peacefully.

Everyone still  fell awful and my tear is cry until it dry. Suddenly i remember my friend say, don't cry for the someone who is death, it will make the one you love unpeaceful and feel sorry. I try so hard and not to cry, and i even try to cheer them up not to be sad and tell them if u sad granny will know and she feel sad too. If you live happily, she also will felt happy for you. 

The day we bring granny back from the hospital we look and granny and i flash back everything my granny tell me, her every single word and concern make me remember back. My dad and uncle and granpa will do the best for my granny and make her rest for peace.

The part that i hate is here!!! All those aunt and uncle said for empty promises and just want to prove that he or she is a good son and girl!!! I hate when they pretend to be someone but they are the most unrespectful to my granny!!! First one is my 1st Aunt! She always tell us to pray and talk less, but she is the one that talk a lot and not praying a lot!!! Then everything she also want to take place, like scare to lose out to speak! people say one she also yes here people say two she yes there. Don't know everything still want to pretend to know everything! She damn annoying and make me pissed off!!! Then other people matter she also want to join. My granpa tell me don't do this thing, then i was like say something my granpa don't like to hear, and he tell everyone. This i nevermind, but the annoying people want come and give ajaran to me. before she say something i already kill her word with my eyes! 

The second person is my last uncle, because they say want to take shift at night, but he sleep all night long AT LIVING ROOM. and this is how he shift. Same as her wife, sleep so long and still want to get benefit. Everytime want to take big stuff. 

I'm tired of talking about everyone already. Is still a long story to tell, but now everyone real face is shown infront of me. Relative is also sometime selfish, but luckily i still have some beloved cousin and relative that care each other really much and i think this will make my granny peaceful and the big family is stood still! One more thing, im proud that i can make something for my granny, is make her photo beautiful, and im glad that everyone like it and say my granny photo is nice..

I LOVE YOU GRANNY!!

Love,

Claire